it’s me & you; come on, would it really be so bad?


Timehop hit me with the relevance this morning. I sent this screen cap in an iMessage to Chad and said, “The time we were in the same room for hours and didn’t even know each other”. Recently, while discussing the Paintsville Country Club, Chad described a wedding he’d attended there a few years ago. The more he talked, the more I realized — I was at the same wedding. Chad and I didn’t meet until September 2012, so the fact that we were so close in proximity almost 2 years prior to that made both of us laugh. I mean, it wouldn’t have been all that pertinent for us to meet at that time anyway considering Chad was attending said wedding with his ex wife, but nevertheless, we find this coincidence amusing.

Instances like that always make me think about how funny life can be. In May of 2011, I was 24 years old and when I think about that time in my life, I remember how I lamented being the perpetually single friend. I never minded being alone so much as I minded the constant reminder that I was alone — does that make sense? I attended that wedding with one of my closest friends and her husband, sans any sort of date. I knew a lot of people that would be there and I just wanted to get dressed up and have a good time, so I did. I have a really vivid memory and I can remember seeing several people there that are part of my life now because of Chad (who was at a completely different point in life than I was at the time), but I really had no idea who they were then. I don’t know why that’s so funny to me, honestly, but it just is. I think it’s so fascinating how things have a way of circling around to where they’re supposed to be.

Have I ever told you all about the first time I met Chad? I know several of you reading this know the story, but I can’t remember if I have ever blogged about it — so, if I have, I’m sorry! Anyway, a close friend of mine and her sister in law insisted that I meet one of their friends, a semi-recently divorced fella who’s reputation for hilarity and hi jinx preceded him, to say the very least. I was not interested or impressed. Anyone that knows me knows that I was staunch about not dating guys who had previously been married, so I figured there was absolutely no point. I had all these boxes that needed to be checked off, you know? Being alone for nearly a decade, a person has plenty of time to fabricate what they think ‘the one’ is supposed to be like and how everything is supposed to be. Anyway, said friend finally broke me down and I agreed to come to a party knowing Chad would be there. This is stupid, and you don’t have to believe me, but know that I wouldn’t say something like this because I am so not this person — when he walked in the door and looked at me, I can remember everything about how his face looked, I noticed how blue his eyes were, and I knew that no one had ever (and I, in turn) looked at me like that before. It was instant, and I hated it, and I ran like the wind. Like the wind, people! We hit it off from the jump, and I spent every second making a list of why it wouldn’t work and why it was a waste of both our time. Though I would have never admitted it and did not for years, at one point, I got straight up bubble guts and thought — “This is the man I’m going to marry.” and then HYSTERICALLY laughed to myself, tucked that thought far, far, far, away and never thought of it until a year and a half later.

Funny story, you guys. I’m gonna marry that man. How dumb is that? How great is that? What I’m trying to say is — screw your boxes! Get outside of those boxes, that checklist, those ideas that everything has to be this way or that way or perfect. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. Chad and I are not perfect now and we never will be. There are things — big things — that we don’t see eye to eye on, things that we may never fully agree on, and things that we struggle with on a regular basis. I would’ve put my hand on a Bible and swore to you (not saying that’s a good idea or something you should do…) that there was literally NO ONE that I could possibly end up with out of all of my friends and their friends and so on and so forth. Then, when all of those feels were staring me in the face, I was like BYE GIRL and wouldn’t even go out with the guy for almost an entire year. What the crap? Dude went and got a girlfriend, I went on dates, I whined around and pined after something that was absolutely wrong for me, and all the while I kept coming back to that night when I saw him for the first time and I couldn’t shake that we needed to at least try.

When I look back and see all of the steps that got me here, I’m really glad. I had awesome experiences, and I keep having them. Going to new places, meeting new people, not being tied to anything — it was amazing and I don’t regret one minute of it. I don’t regret not getting married out of high school or out of college, and I’m not poopooing anyone reading this that did those things. Everyone’s story is different, it’s unique, and it’s absolutely beautiful if you allow it do be. You don’t have to believe me, because now I’m just the ahole on the other side of it saying that things have a way of working out. I get that. Trust me, I get that more than anyone has ever gotten anything. I’m not giving you the *hand to forehead* everything happens for a reason schtick. I’m telling you, please enjoy what’s happening in the now, and you’ll see how things piece together in the future. Your story is not going to be the same as another persons, so don’t let comparison steal the joy in your every day. Four years ago today, I was attending a wedding and the person I am going to marry was there and I had no idea. Two years ago this time, this person and I started crossing paths again after not speaking for a period of time, and 2 years later, we’re engaged and might pop up married anytime.

Just silly.