If anything has absolutely worn me out in 2015, it’s the onslaught of self-righteous Mommy/Christian/People/Persons/Humans/I-Am-Doing-Life-Better-Than-You Blogs. A gazillion times out of ten, I write about how awful I am. I write about how it’s hard to live with me and how bad I feel for my husband, I write about my anxiety and how I can’t people, or I write about how fat I feel and how much I know I need to get back on my treadmill. Nothing in my writing aims to make you feel less than me because I do something a certain way, because lets face it, it’s likely that I do it wrong. I don’t adult very well.
So, I’m not gonna shame you for wearing leggings as pants (or yoga pants) and showing your cute butt if you’re cool with it and it makes you happy. I certainly will never get between you and whatever belief you have about alcohol and social drinking (or drinking in general) because your personal choices are not my business. If you post selfies with mad cleavage, bikini shots, butt shots, whatever, good for you. I’m not going to ask you not to do whatever you want to do on YOUR social media account to shield my husband’s pure eyes (puhlease!). I’m not a Mommy so I’m NEVER going to say a word about parenting because I have no idea, and if I ever am, I’m not going to write anything shaming the childless for not understanding how difficult it is to never have any time. I’m sure as shit not gonna write anything encouraging you to do your husbands laundry, because that man has two legs and two arms and that blog straight up killed me.
I can’t live in this “15 verses to pray for your husband when he makes you angry” Pinterest culture of marriage and relationships and interactions with people. We are all different, and you guys, life is HARD. Life is mean. Life is good and beautiful and painfully unfair. Because I drink a glass of wine on Friday nights and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. Because you don’t wear things that show your butt because your husband doesn’t like it and I do, it doesn’t matter. Just. Do. You. Do what makes you happy, do what is right for you, and let that be that. The implication of shame and underlying tone of superiority is killing us.
And you know what? It’s so specifically between women. We let these menial issues pit us against one another instead of lifting each other up. As if we do not have enough negativity pressing against us, so we must be negative to one another? Do you feel so insecure in your own choices and ideas that you have to belittle someone to validate yourself? I don’t understand any of it. Please know that I am not belittling you if you identify with anything I’ve mentioned, I am only stating that every single person is different and it is okay if someone isn’t living their life like your are living yours. It doesn’t make them bad, less Christian, or less anything. It makes them human.
I like cats. I love talking about my husband because he’s funny, and not because I think I’m better than you because I have one. I’m nobody’s Mother, but it doesn’t mean that I have all the time in the world and that I’m so free and life is so easy. I eat too much and exercise too little. I recently changed my anxiety medicine so I have more good days than bad, but I still have awful days. Sometimes, I don’t like my job. Sometimes, I don’t like myself. Sometimes, I just want to go home and put on pajamas and hide away.
Happy 2016, y’all. Be bigger, be braver, be better. And ALWAYS be you.