So, I’m gonna try to shine up this turd a little bit. My Mama and I had a big long talk yesterday about my writing wherein she really encouraged me to do this thing. I mean, how many freakin’ times have I said I am gonna do this thing? Who knows. I looked back in my archives and I’ve got blogs dating back to 2012, so I’ve been trying to turn over a cold engine for four years. But, this time, I feel like I might be onto something.
While I can’t really tell you if I will ever ‘make it’ as a writer or a blogger or whatever, it’s seriously the only thing I have ever been good at other than eating and sleeping. I’m the Michael Phelps of naps and snacks, for sure, but not really anything else. I’ve never really been able to come up with a sleek title to this blog, the dang hyperlink is just my name, and that’s always really annoyed me. There has to be something that sets me a part, right? I have thought that to myself approximately 3024823094823904823490823490 times and typically come to the conclusion that no, there’s really not, and my grammar isn’t even that great, so I go on with my day. But, here I am again with a new title/look, and a new approach. Kind of.
I always get the best ideas when I’m running and by the time I get back to my house, I forget them. A couple of weeks ago, I had the beginning of a beautiful blog about growing up in Appalachia planned, and literally forgot every single word by the time I sat down at my laptop. Still don’t remember it. I just know I really like being from a small, Appalachian town, even if every single human in this whole place fundamentally and vehemently disagrees with me. I drive around in my little old lady Rav 4 with my Hillary Clinton bumper sticker just to make people uncomfortable. Guys, I love it. It cracks me up when people speed up on 23 to pass me and stare me down. I mean, I flat out cackle. Sometimes I even smile and wave. I physically cannot help myself.
Anyway, my point (that previous paragraph wasn’t even a point) is, I don’t have an angle. My sister told me last night, “your angle is your honesty” and that’s true. I’m honest about being a big ol feminist, a big ol liberal, and a big ol Christian and I get those things don’t go together for some of y’all. I don’t have the chops for a lifestyle or design blog, I don’t want to just talk about politics because ew, I don’t want to just talk about Kentucky Basketball even though I love it pert near sinfully, I can’t Mommy blog because I don’t have kids, I don’t want to Christian Wife blog because I’m not cut out (nor do I want to) tell you what you are doing wrong (and all I am doing sooooo right!), the list goes on, and on, and on, and on. So, why not write about everything? Right?
Truth is, I grew up in a holler in eastern Kentucky. I have a bachelor’s degree that I don’t use, but still consider myself a student of history. On any given day, I answer an estimated gazillion phone calls and people get my name wrong at least once. Alena isn’t an easy name to say with a thick drawl anyhow. I’m not country, but I am country. I say stuff like pert near and anyhow to be funny, but don’t regularly use them in every day language. I do sometimes use really colorful language and that’s hard for people to reconcile with my Jesus loving and I’m sorta sorry for it, but y’know, you aren’t me so don’t worry about it. If you are reading this, I have probably hurt your feelings, but little do you know that I have probably worried myself to death thinking about how I hurt you. I cope daily with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Facebook politics drives me absolutely insane, I hate ill researched political memes, and Lord, I dislike Donald Trump even more than all of that.
Y’all know this stuff. If you’re new here (oh my gosh, hi!!!!), you’re learning it. So, maybe I’ll cover a little bit of everything. Maybe one blog will be for you and the next one wont be. Regardless, I promise you it’ll be the most sincere thing you’ll read today or that day or whatever day you stumble across this hot mess. I’m gonna talk about marriage and fitness and macros and stuff you hate, but maybe stuff you love like pizza, Doritos, sour beers, and cats. Wait, that’s just stuff I love. Maybe you just wanna pop in here and creep, or maybe you just wanna feel better about your own life. That’s fine, too. I’m good for it. I don’t know how to really get this thing off the ground, but scouts honor, I’m giving it an honest go this time.
SERIOUSLY, I’M NOT JOKING THIS TIME YOU GUYS.