sunday morning coffee break

So, I wanna start a weekly blog that I write to recap the ridiculousness of life in a normal week.  I was thinking about this last night before I came home to find that my dog had destroyed another door way in my house, and I came up with “sunday morning coffee break” because I love drinking coffee early on Sunday mornings and kind of reflecting on what happened in the previous week and thinking about the week ahead.  Typically it causes me great anxiety and this is week is no different.  So, this should be fun!

literally me this entire week

Let’s start with…. Things That Made Me Feel Like A Huge Failure This Week

  1. (I have no idea how many of these there will be) Not being able to work because anxiety destroyed my life on Monday.  Not being able to do the job you’ve been doing for 10 years because you have a mental breakdown at your desk (not even work related!) and realizing that you need to go home and get in bed — that’ll make you feel like you suck.  Using your own paid time off that you’re trying your best to save up for having a baby (thanks no federally mandated paid parental leave, America.  Only first world nation to have this issue) a couple of years from now will make you feel like you suck.  Knowing over all that you seriously just suck at adulting will make you feel like a huge failure.  Thanks, anxiety.  Go jump out of a moving vehicle.
  2. Your dog eating through not ONE but TWO doorways in your house, through the drywall, down to the studs because he apparently has more anxiety than you do will make you feel like you suck. Feeling like a horrible pet parent because you want to get rid of said dog will make you feel like you suck.  Having no answers makes you feel like you suck.  Not wanting to get rid of your dog because you really love him, but you really love your house that you’re paying for for the next 29 years will make you feel like you suck. So, we’ve had Trevor for 2 years.  We have no real grasp of what he went through the 2 years before we adopted him, so I don’t think he can help whatever triggers his anxiety (NEWSFLASH: NEITHER CAN I! I feel you, Trevs).  Needless to say, ol Trev will be crated when we leave the house.  It’s frustrating because we’ve been in this house for almost a year, and suddenly after being perfectly fine, he’s like LET’S KILL EVERYTHING.  I’m not a bad pet Mom, so don’t pet Mom shame me.  I can’t handle SanctiMommy Pet Mommying — I’ll get enough of that if I ever have a kid.
  3. Your period will make you feel like a failure.  Not because I want to be pregnant, but because periods are just horrible.  Enough said.
  4. Breaking down to your psychologist because your SSRI has made you gain weight and thusly triggered body image issues quite literally from the pits of hell.  I can’t tell you all how much I hate myself and how I look.  How much I don’t love myself.  It’s disgusting and embarrassing to discuss.  So, you aren’t alone.  Whoever you are reading this.
  5. Starting to “sell” something because I seriously ADORE the products but I’ve always poo pooed selling stuff.  But, whatever.  Perfectly Posh is amazing and not having huge cystic acne on my chin proves it.  I’m serious.  I don’t “sell” stuff.  I used these products and tripped out because they are so good and so affordable.  So, do this pathetic anxiety ridden wonder a solid and go to and look around.  You wont be sad about ANYTHING you buy.  I haven’t used one product that I’m not flipping out over how great it makes my skin feel.
  6. I don’t have a 6.

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN SO NEGATIVE!  But, I had to get it out there.  I had to get it off my chest.  It’s not all bad!  The drywall can be fixed, Trevor is a great dog, my period will go away, my anxiety is manageable (HAHAHAHA), and I’m working on loving myself with hopefully the help of Jesus, a therapist, and exercise.  Not every week is great, that’s my point.  Not every week will be good, and that’s just real life.

I’m gonna get up and get my house cleaned up, listen to some Christian music, take my Effexor, and get this new week started. Can y’all relate that sometimes it just all goes bad and all you can do is sit back and let your husband MJ cry face your picture and go on with life?  I’m sure you can.  And you are not alone!  Well, we are not alone.  This little collection of folks who comes here to read what I have to say, get a laugh, and go on, thank you.

Lets make it through this next week together.  Or with alcohol if it’s anything like last week, okay.

One thought on “sunday morning coffee break

  1. I feel you on a lot of levels here. And I think it speaks a lot about Chad that he knew to MJ cry face you to make light of the situation with Trevor. And to hush your anxiety for awhile. Lord knows it’s hard but sometimes that anxiety can take a long walk off a short pier.

    Liked by 1 person

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