3 things & the one where I get a letter from Jen Hatmaker’s legal team probably

Social media pisses me off.  I’m not writing this as a passive aggressive swipe at this or that or anyone, I’m saying, I get legitimately angry when I read FB and Twitter.  So, in a fit of rage, I deleted both applications from my phone (I guess it was last Wednesday sometime?) and you know what?  I’ve been zen af (hahahahahah), I’ve done yoga, I’ve read books, I’ve eaten half a container of Halo Top vegansoydairyfree (omg, do you crossfit?) ice cream, and I’ve actually WATCHED the news.  Like at 6:30pm with Lester Holt watched the news.   I downloaded SmartNews and I still get updates and I am informed WITHOUT CONSTANTLY BEING ANGRY!  I’m kidding, I’m still super mad because I can’t imagine how you aren’t at this point, but YEAH.  NO APPS.  Idk why I’m yelling.  But, I’m totally yelling.

I’m not telling you that you need a social media cleanse or that you need to put down your phone, I’m just saying that I need and needed to chill out a little bit because it was stealing my joy.  And also stealing my sleep, I was absently scrolling for like an hour before bed and why?  I’m too old for things to steal my joy.  I can still be informed and vocal about injustices, etc., and NEVER READ THE COMMENT SECTION EVER.  Don’t click expand.  Don’t do it.  People are terrible and will make you sad.  Take my advice.  You’ll be happier.  I will still get serious with you about any number of issues, I just maybe don’t have these apps on my phone for my mental health at the moment and that is fine, dude.

Anyway, so I’ve missed a bunch of stuff being posted and my life went on and that’s incredible.  I will hop on when I have a hot second on break at work  or when I’m drinking my coffee in the morning and skim and scan and then I’m like ‘love you, bye’ in my best Brenda K voice. I’ve started reading a book every time I think about picking up my phone and it’s not classic literature because I think I read on a 5th grade level now and I have to retrain myself to pay attention to anything that is longer than a few sentences.  That was a horrible sentence and I am leaving it, y’all.  Like I said — retraining.  Also, I shattered the bottom right corner of my phone screen a couple weeks ago and I took it as a sign from above that I need to do literally anything else with my life.  I’m serious.  Jesus, be a fence.

In light of all of that hullabaloo up there, let’s go over the three things I am doing right now to ensure my joy and to try and help myself be a better adult and human.  I’m so bad at adulting.  Notoriously bad.  It’s embarrassing.

  1. Waking up before 7:10am on work days.  I live less than one mile from my job because I am blessed and highly favored.  Great, but I can’t get out of bed until the last possible second, I show up to work with no makeup on (which is not bad in and of itself, but I like makeup), wrinkled clothes, and yawning because I literally just woke up.  Guys, I’ve been working the same job for 10 years, you would think I would have getting to work (and actually being prepared for it) by 7:30am mastered.  Not so.  I’m trying to get a cup of coffee in, stare outside at the brightness, splash my face with cold water, and repeatedly tell myself, “You can do hard things” as I try to get out of bed at 6:00am.  6:30am. 6:36am because snooze.   I think I’ve made it to work with makeup on every single day this week, so I am obviously killing number 1.
  2. Reading more.  Books, magazines, Readers Digest, short stories, news papers, nutrition labels, anything that is not my iPhone.  Right now, I’m reading Of Mess and Moxie by my queen Jen Hatmaker and I fully expect to receive a cease and desist order from her publicist if she ever read my blog (OHMYGOSHIWOULDDIE) because she is totally my writing voice inspiration.  I just love you, Jen.  Please be my friend.
  3. Working out.  I know a lot of folks blow this one off and I get that, but I am not lying when I say that I am a better person when I move consistently.  I’m not out here dead lifting 300lbs or squatting my body weight, but I move and I get sweaty and it helps my attitude.  Sometimes I just do yoga.  Sometimes I do plyo or run my guts out.  It’s whatever mood I am in at the moment.  I need to focus on a specific program, probably, but the fact that I am jiggling at least 4 days a week is the best I can offer you and it ain’t bad.  Endorphins and stuff.  And to be clear, I came home and took a nap today.

So, this was supposed to be a list of five things but I can’t think of two more that aren’t obvious choices to better your life like sleeping more, petting tons of cats, and eating whole foods like baby spinach, and egg whites.  Oh, and also Doritos.  Maybe five was going to wear out my welcome and turn into a huge tl;dr block of text which I am not about. Get some quality sleep and eat something green for the love of God!  Maybe that should be the title of my memoir?

I still scroll the book of face periodically and since I started writing this blog I have caught a few things that made me start to write a comment and then I decided that Sarah Sanders wasn’t worth it.  But, what I’m saying is, the screen time is significantly less.  I have seriously almost finished a book in a few days and I didn’t even know I could still read, guys.  So, whatever I’ve started, it’s working and I’m here for it in the least pretentious and preachy way possible.  More reading, more writing (no matter how bad it is…. sorry), more quiet time, more face time with folks I love (Sophie), and more sleep.  Also, more Doritos.

Okay.  Maybe not Doritos.  😦

Anyway, what are y’all doing to relax, unwind, and enjoy life??  How do you self-care?